"Because I Love Me!"
“I Love Me Enough for the Both of Us!”
Smart? Not the least bit some would argue.
Only amateur criminals and the mentally insane would revisit the most traumatic parts of their lives. They would linger over the memories to the point that they found themselves walking among the ashes of burned homes, collapsed and fallen buildings, and where blood soaked into the soil so long ago that the trees flourished. No one wanted to relieve their nightmares over and over again! It was a self-inflicted torture so cruel that even the divine would turn away and fan their hand for the pity of such an asinine mind.
Then again, who was to say that Usagi Hikari was smart? He was called many things these days away from the villages and he was pretty sure within. He did not need his clan’s famed Kekkei Genkai in order to let the swears and curses reach his ears. He took it on good faith that a million things were said by the end of the day and by morning, they were at a thousand before the first ray of dawn would reach a window. It would be depressing if he did not think of it all as true. All of those things were engraved in history, here, where it all happened.
“Here.” He echoed.
His ears once again second to the other sensations that he felt. The surrounding of toppled trees, churned Earth, and remnants of shame were lingering. Long had the events ended, the memory was fresh in his mind as Hikari could remember clearly the sounds of that evening. The ground had long become dry and chalky for the soil, but he almost felt the sensation of mud and saturated clothes of rain water. The bellowing cry of comrades that were no longer on the same side but the grief was shared among them. Hikari could remember the words he had given and smiled, even now as he uttered them.
“It is in my nature.” He spoke as he thought.
A laughter escaping from his lips. Not one of contentment or joy. Both of those things were empty of his vessel. Absolute anguish took its place at how he was thinking that day and still did so now. Only had he met them again, briefly, and he managed to incite more pain. The lessons Mei Mei had given to him drilled into him until he finally felt a disconnect from whom he was to who he is now. Whatever he was now. A lonely creature without his herd as he was no better than he had been now. The only thing that was promised that, unlike all those other days had he stayed, was that he was alive.
Someway, he was alive.
Now there was the mission! The rabbit, dressed in his kimono that hugged his body from his hips and lapped his palms in an open Ofurisode style, would make steps that would knock against the wood as it would echo aloud. His eyes misty blue eyes would search in the void of nothingness as it was his ears that would twitch with each point of his nose to the soil. Traffic of the area was observed thoroughly as, ironically, this place that was fresh with memories of grief and struggle was actually an area meant for the traffic of shinobi that were heading to the border. This same path that was memorable to him was also a route for others who wished to escape from Nikkousato. The irony was humorous, but yet not enough to bring a true amused smile to his face.
“So this bunny is to scout here, yes?” A breath emitting from his lips, “Waiting to see if someone is as miserable as that day? That day where it was then I found just how cruel the world could...and would be.” He spoke of that day as if it was nostalgic as the first piece of cake or the scent of a romantic spring. It had all the essence of a traumatic incident including the fear of death and the hatred of the world for what it was worth. Hikari’s eyes were stuck between a bitter furrow of the brow and a mesmeric lull. He settled for a sheepish, empty gaze and a muse of his lips while his ears would twitch and he would walk where his cursed memories had come to life.
He strolled through the woodlands quietly, but he was reliving the screams of that stormy evening all over again.